the rabbit NEVER gets on AIM unless I ask him to when he should be on AIM/MSN for work purposes and it’s annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And my work purposes I mean talk about and bitch about unibrow, but still. argh!
Sounds like the beginning line of a song, anyway this is no song! My aunt told me this story, actual true story, of what happened her husband when working the other night.
Late in the night/early morning, he gets a call to pick up some fella – we’ll call him O’Toole for this – at a pub a couple of miles outside of town, and bring him home. Now my uncle knew this guy and had done it tons of times and knows the roads so no problem there.
On the way to the pub to pick up O’Toole, the roads are nothing but swamp land on both sides so he was taking it easy driving, when he noticed lights in the ditch up ahead on the left, and as he got closer discovered a van that had veered off the road and into the swamp.
So he hops out, shouts to see if anyone is in the van and hears some moaning and mumbling so yells out “Stay htere, I’m getting help!” – He calls the cops and as he was only a few yards from the pub, heads up there to get people to help. As he got to the pub, O’Toole was standing out in the middle of the road waiting for him, pissed drunk, pissed!
“Get in, you’ve a job to do, ” says my uncle to him. To which he got the following reply: “I’m not doing no fucking job, just take me fucking home!”
My uncle pushed O’Toole into the car and sped back to the van in the swamp.
They got out of the car and my uncle asked the guy if he was upto this, if not cool no worries but they had to help in some way. The guy is fine with it, pissed drunk but fine.
My uncle is half crippled so he couldn’t go in after the van so O’Toole goes to go in after the guy. My uncle shouts out to watch out for the land it’s swamp and the guy shouts back “No problem!”. And then procedes to fling himself head first into the swamp.
He managed to pull himself half out of it, but couldn’t get out the rest of the way so he’s there flailing and flapping screaming obscenities at the swamp/my uncle/life/the dog/etc…and he comes up with this great idea that if he rolls himself on his back, he’ll be able to get out no problem! Big mistake, he ends up under it, no surprise there. My uncle managed to get him out fine.
So the two are standing there yelling out and keeping the guy in the van talking and with them, having no clue what to do. O’Toole then decides he’ll go in by climbing over the van to the front.
“Throw me a rock there, I’ll break the window in and get him out!” – which would have been a good idea if not for he was talking about the window beside the guy’s face so he’d do him damage.
“Fine, I’ll break the back window in, and pull him out that way!” – is the next suggestion, which is a good one and will, or rather would, work if not for the fact that since he was covered in slime and swamp shit he was mega slippy and ended up sliding down the van, back into the swamp on the other side.
So there’s O’Toole, back in the swamp swearing his heart out, when a car pulls up and 2 guards (cops) hop out, male and a female – this is relevant for later on in the story.
My uncle fills the guards in on what’s happened and the male guard goes to go in, when O’Toole yells out”Oh shit, not the guards!”. The male guard shouts out questions like, are you ok/hang tight we’re coming for you/etc etc, to the guy in the van, except the guy in the van wasn’t answering, O’Toole was. And thanking them for coming to get him!
After a few mins the guard realises something’s wrong and yells out “Who are you?!” – to which O’Toole answered him again. The guard turns to my uncle and goes “WTF?!”, for want of a better expression. My uncle explains that’s his passenger that’s trying to help.
So the guard climbs over the van, and not being covered in slime etc., made it over to the window ok. Shouts over to the female guard to hand him a baton so he can break the window in. The female guard decides to go in after him, and my uncle warns her about the swamp to which she says it’s fine, and then plonk, face first into the swamp. The obscenities out of her were something my uncle said he never heard from a woman before, hehe.
So he pulls the female guard out, and they throw the baton to the male guard. All good.
Except they forgot about O’Toole stuck in the swamp at the top. So the male guard goes in for him and pulls him out, but without any shoes. So O’Toole decides he’s going back in for them. Crazy! But he does, and gets them and the guard helps him out again.
Then the paddy wagon shows up, and 7 more guards get out. 6 male, 1 female. The 6 male guards help get the van and the guy in the van out of the swamp and sort him out while the 2nd female guard starts on at the first female guard about the state of her uniform, and she starts bitching about how she only left her other uniform in for dry cleaning that morning – only in Ireland.
One of the guards asks my uncle if he’ll come into the station and give a statement, and my uncle says he has a run to the airport so he will when he gets back if that’s ok, which it is, guard says no problem. So my uncle goes to get in his car, and the guards are all packing up, and poor O’Toole is standing there covered in slime and starts yelling about how he was the hero and now what does he do. He turns to my uncle looking for a ride home but my uncle refuses saying no way he’s getting into his car covered in slime and dirt etc., but if he strips off he’ll bring him. This isn’t ideal to O’Toole so he starts ranting and raving and decides f it, he’ll walk home! So off he goes!
My uncle was then driving back into town when the cops flashed him down and stopped him. He rolls down his window and asks what’s up. “Nothing,” says the guards “just wanted to sy thanks.”
My uncle’s response?
“Ah fuck off, I’m late!”
Off to Spain on Wednesday morning, and have saved for it. So, my car decided that it’d destroy it’s ignition coil, makingme fork out for a new one.
Apparantly it’s one of those things where you had to do it it was so bad, or something.
So 150 for that, + 60 for the motor gone on my back wiper and 80 for labour. /cry
Always the way.
A friend of mine is in bits at the mo’, it was her birthday last week so she went off to Venice with a friend for for a few days. While there, her boyf (who had a golfing weekend planned so couldn’t celebrate her birthday with her) sent her a text message breaking it off.
Ass.
Seriously, even the boss is about to kill him.
We have a customer who owns a lot of sites and use a head office package we have to control all sites.
On the 16th they rang and said some of the info from the 15th was missing, half of it, the rest was there, and the info for the 16th was there.
That was OCTOBER 16th, almost a month, and unibrow has been “working” on this call since that day, and it’s still not sorted.
One of the problems they had was no communication between the sites, 3 weeks ago they reported this. Unibrow doesn’t know that much about the indepth workings of head office but does know the basics, like if there’s no communication, what to check.
He told me the head office program was *off* due to the issue of the 15th/16th info missing, and has been off since.
This morning the customer rang and spoke with our boss, I say spoke but it was far from polite, and he was dead right to. I mean, a month and this is still going on? I’d have flipped out.
So anyway, we’re discussing this with our boss and trying to figure out a way to sort it when unibrow said the head office program has actually been ON the whole time. So wtf?
First he says it’s off all the time, now he says he’s been dialled in and noticed the program on. He’s even turned it off and back on again himself while checking information.
*bangs head on desk*
3 weeks, his call, he’s able to fix the problem, and he gives us the wrong information. I’m trying to figure out why he did that. I know it delays the call and I think that’s what he was doing, trying to wait until I got so pissed off with it that I took it over. I really think that’s what he was doing, and have for a while, but he’s well capable of handling this and as far as I knew he was fixing things, so I didn’t take it over.
The boss just about flipped, and unibrow was coming up with excuses such as “beib said it was off!” – even the boss knows that unibrow was the one that gave us that information. “I didn’t notice it” – it’s the 2nd problem, for 3 weeks, and you didn’t notice it? Not even when they ring every day? ok….
We got that sorted in about 30 seconds flat, simple port blocked error, simple. That’s something out of the way at least and will calm the customer down, but jesus that was some battle, and always with the excuses.
Anyway he now has to fix the original problem of the info on the 15th missing, but with this done it buys him some time he didn’t have originally, to work on it longer. God only knows how long longer is.
You know, you’d think there’s no one else working here the way I only talk about the rabbit and unibrow, but there is.
They’re just not all that interesting, compared to unibrow and the rabbit’s battles anyway 
Funny/stupid/odd/frustrating things unibrow has done recently….
- Cannot spell for shiz, seriously. One of our customers had a problem with STOCK, he logged it as problem with SOCK, hehe ok that’s kinda funny, but EVERY call he misspells and you’re looking and trying to figure out wtf is going on!
- Still smells bad.
- Before I had blogged how he was spelling out a word over the phone for someone and said “Q for….Q” hehe, he did the same again the other day “E, for E” lol
- I’ve asked numerous times that if they want me for something to call me by saying my name first so I’ll snap to attention, so to speak. He doesn’t, he talks and then when I don’t answer him because I’m too busy doing whatever I’m doing, he starts sighing REALLY loudly and staring at me. Kinda freaky.
This morning he did the same but I heard him. Today I’m testing a new piece of software so my concentration is… uhhh…. ok well it’s meant to be on the software and not my blog, but it’s noon I needed a break from bugs :p Anyhooooo, so he says something to me, I heard him but wanted to keep doing what I was doing and since he didn’t call me I just fobbed it off.
He came over and stood right beside me staring at me, that shiz seriously creeps me out. So I go, “what unibrow?” – and he says he asked me a question. I said I didn’t hear him as he didn’t call me and I was engrossed in my testing. He says he did call me. LIAR! So did not, so I said this, well not the liar part but the not calling me part and he spent 10 mins arguing that he did call me, when he didn’t.
Like what’s the point? I dunno.
- Farts all the time. A lot.
- Hasn’t slipped on our spilled tea trap. Damn.
- Call avoidance, still doing it. For example, took a call last week, the rabbit updated it on Thursday, unibrow updated it on Friday but insists it’s the rabbit’s call. Hate that crap.
- Listens in on my phone conversations. Like he’ll be walking past and here me on the phone, so he’ll stop and listen. On occasion he stares in.
- Asking stupid question. As I mentioned earlier, today I’m testing a new piece of software. So Unibrow gets a call from a customer about someone having dialled into their PC this morning, and he asks me if it was me. I say no because I was working on software only and he says well you might have dialled in for a while or something. Again I say no, software today only, no calls as he already knew. OK I just need to check because you could have been. Me: “….”
- In the rabbit’s own words:
[15:01] rabbit: When I came in this morning and went into bosses office, he stood out in the reception playing with the scale, listening in. He had no reason to be out there at all.
- We have a boss rule here regarding calls, any call where the customer is under warranty or on contract, must be kept updated every 24 hours if the call isn’t easy solve. Unibrow’s calls of this type can go a week without an update and if you ask him about it he pulls about9 different excuses from his excuse list, like, “I forgot” ” I didn’t see them there, ” “it wasn’t there this morning, ” etc…but my personal favourite is: “I didn’t have time.” A whole week and doesn’t have 5 minutes to update the call or even call the customer back?
And then comes out with “Oh hey soandso is on tv tonight/soandso has a special offer on their website” or we get a sudden blast of a Southpark episode he didn’t to watch and didn’t get his earphones plugged in before the music started :p
And I got tied up with work most of the day so cutting it short and most of that is repeats anyway but that was all just *today* lol
And it’s only Monday…
Anyone’s who’s been paying attention for the last few weeks knows I’m off to Spain end of the month for my cousin’s wedding, and also that I booked and organised most of the flights/hotels/car hire/etc for everyone going.
His parents were to fly out the 25th of this month, all booked and paid for. Today the airline announced it is in discussion with the unions over whatever and if they can’t come to an agreement, they’ll go on strike, on the 24th.
I mean talk about bad luck, and it’s the last thing you want after organising a wedding, not being able to even get there!
I looked around and gave my aunt different options if she wants to cancel or book a backup flight with anothe airline just in case, but they haven’t decided what they’ll do yet.
Need to think about it fast, or they won’t get any money back!
I bought him 5 scratch cards last night.
He won:
2 free tickets
4 euro
and 2 euro
Out of 5 tickets, not bad!
ok so the rabbit was making tea just now and while bringing it back into this room he spilled some on the floor.
So he asks me if he should clean it up or wait and see what happens. I.e if unibrow slips or what.
I said wait -_-
I mean, come on, it’s Monday! Need some entertainment :p
You know the one with the heart condition, turned 88 recently, that one, he does the Lottery every Wednesday and Saturday nights.
A few weeks ago, my uncle looked up the numbers on teletext for him. He’s blind as a bat, so my uncle wrote them down on a piece of paper for him to read up close.
So my uncle is sitting there beside him after handing my grandfather the piece of paper with the numbers written on it, the numbers also still on screen on the tv, when my grandfather starts calling out the numbers written down. One by one, it’s just him checking the numbers out loud.
My uncle is slowly hearing my grandfather call out the numbers, and with the numbers still on screen begins to realise that he’s calling out the right lottery numbers. In his own words, his heart started racing, his palms sweating up, his eyes darting back and forth as my grandfather called out the remaining numbers to himself.
“Show me that there, da, ” he says to my grandfather. My uncle goes up beside the tv and starts looking back and forth between the piece of paper and the tv.
After a few minutes of him panicing inside and trying to find a way to not give my grandfather a heart attack with news that he had won the lottery passes, it slowly dawns on my uncle that the numbers he was checking, were from the piece of paper he himself had written the numbers down on
Way to go uncle This leads to a story tonight.
One of my aunts is visiting for the weekend before we all jetset off to Spain for her son’s wedding in 2.5 weeks (weeee!!). As I said above, my grandfather does the lottery every Wed and Sat. And since he’s always looking for paper and pen to write the numbers down to check them himself, when I was in a store earlier this evening (after the draw) I asked the cashier if she could print out the winning numbers for me.
So I brought this piece of paper down to my grandfather tonight, so he didn’t need to go off spending an hour looking for something to write them down on/with.
I’m sitting in the kitchen, having my 20th cup of tea for the hour (I don’t think the kettle every stops boiling in that house ) when 2 of my aunts come in ROARING laughing and yelling my name.
The print out of the winning numbers is printed on the same paper, font, colour etc etc as a regular ticket. My grandfather checked the numbers AGAINST the one I gave him. Sat back on the chair and coolly says to my grandmother “Eily, I think I won.”
It took my aunts nearly 20 minutes to explain to him what happened, and for him to come down from winning millions, to nothing!
He thought I had bought him a lottery ticket. And this is the man with the heart issues!
Think I’ll just buy him a notepad
